


A Little Pick-Me-Up

by astrocrown



Series: HalBarry One Shots [2]
Category: Green Lantern (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, cheese. lots and lots of cheese.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrocrown/pseuds/astrocrown
Summary: Barry had a rough day, so Hal tries to cheer him up with the worst pick-up lines imaginable.





	A Little Pick-Me-Up

**Author's Note:**

> If there's any scientific errors, I apologize. Also blame Hal, it's his fault lol, but he's doing his best.

There was only one thing Hal wanted to do after a days long off-world mission with the Green Lantern Corps: eat a big, fat, juicy cheeseburger. With some fries probably. Oh, and a chocolate shake. After that, he planned to pass the hell out. He was exhausted. The only reason food came first was because he wanted his sleep to be long and uninterrupted. 

After picking up that exact meal, he made his way to his apartment in Coast City. Finally, he could relax. He flopped down on his cheap couch and started in on his meal. Briefly, he checked his phone, which he’d left nearby. Amazingly, he’d remembered to leave it on a charger. There were a few calls and messages he’d missed, but nothing that seemed urgent, so he’d leave it until he got some sleep. He put the phone down in favor of an unread issue of _Aviation Monthly_ he’d picked up probably two or three months ago. 

Just him, some good old fashioned junk food, and a nice magazine. This was a great way to unwind before getting some sleep. 

Halfway through his burger, his phone rang. He was tempted to ignore it, but when he saw it was Barry, he answered it. 

“Hey, babe, how’d you know I was home?”

“I didn’t,” Barry said. He sounded...tired. Well, he always sounded tired, but this was tired even for him. “I just decided to take the chance. When did you get back?”

“Like ten minutes ago. Are you sure you don’t have cameras here? I wouldn’t complain if you did. I could put on a show for you.”

He expected Barry to laugh, or at least tell him he was being cheesy, but his boyfriend did neither. “I just...wanted to hear your voice.”

Hal frowned. Okay, so he had no idea what happened with Barry because he’d just been gone for two weeks, but he knew that tone in his voice. This was the tone where Barry wasn’t ready to talk about his feelings or whatever but he still needed some kind of comfort. Something to remind him that things were fine and that Hal was always here for him. Well, Hal was there the best he could be, but he tried. Now he was wishing he’d paid Barry a visit when he’d come home instead of just heading straight to his own apartment, but he hadn’t because he was just so goddamn tired. 

Well, his tired didn’t matter right now. 

“Hey. Hey, Bar. Are you a carbon sample?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Because I want to date you.” 

Barry chuckled. “Okay, that was bad. Even for you. And we’re already dating.”

That sounded like a challenge if Hal had ever heard one. Did Barry wanna hear better? Because Hal had a whole arsenal, and he’d been waiting for the chance to use some of these. “Oh, yeah? Okay, hot shot, do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.”

Barry laughed a little louder this time. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Maybe you’re made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.”

“Hal….” 

“No, wait, I think you’re a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.”

“Hal Jordan, I swear to god…,” Barry said, still laughing. Hal could practically see him shaking his head over the lameness of these, but he was laughing. That was all that mattered. 

“Are you a non-volatile particle? Because you raise my boiling point.”

“You’re hopeless. I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Hal felt himself smiling from hearing Barry’s tone get progressively lighter and lighter. He wasn’t about to stop, no matter how cringeworthy some of these lines were, until he worked through every last one that he could remember off the top of his tired head. Besides, Barry could roll his eyes all he wanted to, but he was charmed by this because Hal was charming. Period.

“If I was an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”

Barry laughed even louder this time. “That’s pretty creative, I’ll admit. Where are you getting all these?”

“Doesn’t matter. How about we slip between my beta-pleated sheets and you get to know my alpha-helix?” 

“You’re ruining science, Hal.”

“And you’re laughing at me ruining science, so that makes you just as guilty. So, Bar, are you a neuron?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

“You must be, because you have some action potential. And according to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, you are supposed to share your hotness with me.”

“Oh my god….are all of these going to be science related?”

“I just thought we have such great chemistry that we should do some biology together. Your body is 75 percent water, and I’m thirsty.”

Barry snorted. “Actually, it’s about 60 percent in adult males.”

“Okay, nerd. No more science for you. If I flip a coin what are my chances of getting head?”

“You’ll have to ask me next time you’re in Central City.”

That comment made Hal almost choke on the last bite of his burger. Goddammit, he loved him. Sometimes he catch Hal completely off guard like that and Hal never got tired of it. It was so much fun. Barry probably said it as a joke, but that wouldn’t stop Hal from remembering that next time he paid him a visit. 

“Are you alright?” Barry asked. “I thought I heard you choking.” 

“What? No, I wasn’t. I’m fine. Hey, Bar, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

“Oh, boy. Okay, tell me.”

“I don’t have a Ferrari.” 

Barry chuckled. “Okay, Hal. I get it. I’m impressed by your ability to use Google.”

“Hey!” Hal cried, feigning offense. “I could just as well have come up with any of these on my own. Maybe I did. You don’t know.” 

“Honestly, neither would surprise me from you, Hal.”

Hal chuckled, putting his magazine and trash from his food aside in favor of laying across the couch. He stared up at the ceiling, wishing he was wherever Barry was, but he was still exhausted. Tomorrow he’d have to pay him a visit and make it up to him. “Yeah? Looks like I need to up my game then. But...are you doing okay?”

Barry sighed softly on the other end. He still sounded tired, but not as bothered as before. “I’m doing better now. I’m just glad I could talk to you. I was afraid you’d still be off world.”

“I guess we were lucky. Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Are you coming over?”

Hal grinned. “I am. I expect a full welcoming. Banners, confetti, and everything.”

Barry chuckled. “Sure, but no more bad science pick-up lines.”

“No promises.”

“Just...get here. I miss you.”

Hal felt his heart flutter. No matter how long he’d known Barry, he could still make him feel the same after all these years. 

“I miss you, too. See you soon, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! One day I will stop writing Halbarry, but today's not that day and tomorrow's not looking good either. 
> 
> New multi-chaptered Halbarry AU coming soon. A long one, too. Like, way longer than my previous ones. 
> 
> My twitter: [halhighball](https://twitter.com/halhighball) | My tumblr: [msgrayson](http://msgrayson.tumblr.com/)


End file.
